The Epic Tale of the Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time there were three brothers that happened to have the anatomy of pigs (but they all wore pants because apparently Disney’s pigs don’t wear any pants). The first two brothers Mundrew Aller and Loey Jeuci were very care free, or lackadaisical, or immature(magic 3), but the third and oldest of the three brothers Joug Danson paid very careful attention to every detail he observed . So one day, the three oddly pig-shaped brothers decided to settle into a welcoming forest smelling of honeysuckles and fresh flowers. On the way to the sweet-smelling forest, Joug made sure to warn his two younger brothers about the dangers that lay hidden in the forest, and how to protect themselves from such danger. But of course, Mundrew and Loey simple discarded Joug’s words like three-week-old-anchovies (2 smiley face tricks in one!!!!! Simile+hypehation).

Soon after they arrived at the forest’s edge Mundrew found a small clearing surrounded by fruit trees and honeysuckles and decided that he would make his house there. After a long (yet manly) hug from Loey and Joug, they continued on into the forest. Not long after that, Loey found a nice little clearing surrounded by sweet smelling herbs and flowers and decided to build his house there. After another session of manly hugging, Joug continued on by himself until he found the perfect place for his abode.

Now at this time Mundrew was almost finished with the construction of his house which he decided to make out of wet noodles. Since Mundrew loved to eat, he figured that it would just be easy to make a house that could also be his dinner. Mundrew finished in such good time that he decided to visit his brother Loey at his house which was just down the road. By the time Mundrew reached his brother’s house, Loey was almost finished as well. He decided that he was going to make his house out of books. Since he loved reading fairytales so much, Loey figured that he might as well make his house a rousing story as well. After Loey finished his house the two brothers decided to visit Joug at his house, but after hours of searching for it they gave up and retired back to their separate homes. The truth is that Joug was still building his house well into the night. Not for the reason that he was the last one to get started, but because of his methodical and cautious personality. Joug was glad that his brother’s did not find him because he would be too tired and busy to entertain them until the house was finished. Joug’s house had many secrets to it that only he would ever know, and if there ever was a threat, Joug would be safe from it. So the next day after a long nap, Joug decided to send a letter to his two brothers, which contained a map of how to reach his house. He warned his brothers to study carefully in case of an emergency, but they did not pay to much attention to it.

Unfortunately for them, it turns out that that same day a giant white wolf decided to go hunting in the forest and before long he came to the first house. Once he saw the noodles with a little pig inside he decided immediately that God has blessed him with a giant pork dumpling. So he began to eat his way through the noodles. When Mundrew realized that a huge wolf jaw was protruding from his wall he decided that it would be wise to run. So he proceeded to run to Loey’s house, which was not far away. As Mundrew was relaying his tale to Loey the two little pigs heard a knock on the door. It was the wolf! The two little pigs hid behind the couch and hoped that the wolf would go away. After a few minutes of quiet they cam out from behind the couch to realize that the house was a little brighter than it was before. It turned out that this particular wolf was also a champion speed-reader, and he was (metaphorically) devouring the books that made up the roof. The two little pigs then decided that it would be a good idea to run to their big brother who always knew what to do. As they grabbed the Joug’s map and ran out the door, they suddenly regretted not studying it more closely.

Unfortunately for the pigs, the wolf noticed their escape and ran after them. He caught up quickly and took a bite out of Mundrew’s arm, and Loey’s ear. The two little pigs used the time while the wolf was devouring (now literally) his snack, to escape. And escape they did, but they got totally lost as well. Luckily for them, Joug was out side splitting logs and he recognized their piggy anatomy. He took them into his house right away and bandaged up their wounds. Joug fed his brothers and then sent him into a secure area under his steal plated, and heavily armored house. He climbed up to his lookout tower to locate the wolf. Even though the wolf had a great nose for tracking, he was still a good hundred yards away.

So Joug used this to his advantage as he armed all of his spiky pine-cone-field-mines, and razor sharp rose-bush-Constantine-wire. The defensive measures were more than enough to disable the wolf and send him away with his tail between his legs. But the two little pigs learned a valuable lesson that day, and they still suffer from their injuries. Mundrew will never be able to eat with two hands (or hooves) again, and Loey can only hear out of his left (and only) ear. But they are lucky that they survived the attack with out further injury, and it is because of the sole fact that their older brother Joug was a Ninja!!!!!!!!!!